all i ever wanted in my life was to be liked. maybe its hard to believe, knowing the person i became, but its true.
go back as far as you want, and perhaps by a strange series of misfortunes, all you’ll find is folks i wanted to be friends with who for one reason or another, didn’t reciprocate. maybe i’m not the most perfect person in the world, but after a while, you just stop trying, you know?
like this week at my aunt’s wake and funeral, i don’t know what to do with myself, and i tried to be social, but really i was there for personal reasons. its not like a family reunion or anything, but i was sorry to see my aunt go, my father’s sister, the last of her family. and the lowe gene is so strong in those of us attending, it was hard not to notice.
but you know, i think that there’s no pleasing some people. and i don’t think i needed to come quite this far, but i’m kind of glad to be far enough away that i feel like got free enough to find my own person. now that i know who i am, its not so hard to go back, but before, i was lost in it.
this must be so vague, you will have no idea what i’m talking about, but maybe its just as well that way.